Thursday, February 16, 2012


The topic of love has been weighing on my mind for a while now. I have been observing other people in their relationships and there are a few things that I feel I must get off my chest. Now, I will never claim to be an expert on love and I was not trained in analyzing relationships, but I do see failed relationships on a daily basis and I myself am in love and want to say the following things.

Many people around me are claiming to be in love, but somehow I just don't believe you. I know that love can come in many different forms. Not everyone will have the type of love that I share with Chris. Relationships are not always the same, but I can say a few things that I know are not signs of love.

~ Love doesn't try to control your life or try to tell you what you should do
~ Love doesn't try to change you into something that you are not, rather it encourages you to be the best version of you
~ Love doesn't try to take you away from your family and friends with whom you share a close relationship, rather it should want to be a part of that relationship
~ Love isn't something that you hide from those who care about you, but rather something you want to share with those around you
~ Love isn't physically, verbally or emotionally abusive, EVER
~ Love isn't lying to one another about what you are doing or who you are with
~ Love also isn't encouraging your mate to lie to friends, family or each other
~ Love doesn't cheat nor encourage you to cheat
~ Love isn't disrespectful - to you or others you care about
~ Love doesn't ignore you or your needs
~ Love doesn't care how much money you have nor does it ask others for money

One thing I dislike is when people say "oh, you should support me because I am happy". Most people saying this are reminding me verbally daily about how happy they are without being asked. The more you tell me how happy you are, the more I question whether you truly are happy. I feel more like you are trying to convince yourself that you are happy instead of convincing me. I'm not buying it. Happiness is something that can be shown through your behavior and actions, not always something you have to say.

Lastly, I will leave you with this final thought. There is this great book called the Bible that tells exactly what love is supposed to be like. The following verses are quite commonly spoke, but not everyone actually thinks about the meaning behind it. Although we had read the words many times, Chris and I were tasked to read them during pre-marriage counseling and were read during our wedding ceremony. We were told that anytime we had issues/disagreements, we can go back to these words and help us through whatever troubles we may encounter. We often go back and read these words. They are marked in each of our Bibles and these words are hanging on our bedroom wall as a reminder. So I ask you this, if you think you are really in love, is is the kind of love that God created for you?

Love suffers long and is kind; 
Love does not envy; 
Love does not parade itself;
Is not puffed up; 
Does not behave rudely; 
Does not seek its own;
Is not prevoked;
Thinks no evil; 
Does not rejoice in inequity;
But rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
And now abide faith, hope and love, these three;
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8; 13 (NKJV)

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